


Do I wanna know?

by Jawnlover221b



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drunk Texting, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, References to Arctic Monkeys, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 05:01:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19900240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jawnlover221b/pseuds/Jawnlover221b
Summary: Based on the song "Do I wanna know?" by Arctic MonkeysJensen and Jared find their love for each other.After 3 years of hoping and fearing they both finally get their happy ending.





	Do I wanna know?

**_Do I wanna know?_ **

**_If this feeling flows both ways_ **

**_(Sad to see you go)_ **

**_Was sorta hoping that you'd stay_ **

**_(Baby we both know)_ **

**_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day_ **

**_Crawling back to you_ **

**_Ever thought of calling when you had a few?_ **

**_´Cause I always do_ **

**_Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new_ **

**_Now I've thought it through_ **

**_Crawling back to you_ **

The next day Jensen woke with a massive hangover, sue him it was self induced but his head still hurt like a motherfucker. In the light of day his feelings for his best friend doesnt’t look better and it hurts to even think about it. In the past he really got hope, hope that his feelings might be reciprocated with all the touchy-feely-ness Jared treated him from the first week on set,

from the feeling that it just fits with Jared, with him he could laugh, cry and all things in between, he just had the feeing of secureness around him.

_Jensen could tell Jared everything, two weeks into filming Jared told him he wanted to meet after filming in his trailer, it was not uncommon for them leaving the set together in one car so he doesn’t spent much thought_ _about it over the day but as he entered the trailer he started to get nervous because Jared just sat on his sofa with an unreadable face._

_„Hey…“ he started nervously. Jared just motioned for him to sit down next to him and so he did._ _„Jensen just be honest with me ok? Did I do anything wrong? Don’t you like working with me?“_ _This shocked Jensen because how could Jared think he’s done anything wrong, how could he thinks that he doesn’t like working with him, he loved working with Jared, he was an excellent actor with so much passion for his character. Thats why the thing that came out of his mouth was_ _„How could you believe such bullshit? I love working with you“. At this confession his cheeks turned pink but it was the truth._ _Jared smiled and his dimples came out which made Jensens knees turn into jelly thank go he was already sitting down. „Well thank you, you are not so bad yourself“ Jared winked at him. „... but if it isn’t that why were you so damn nervous all the time lately? You couldn’t sit still for longer than a few minutes and fidgeted around all time.“_

_Jensen couldn’t lie to Jared, so he closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, his stomach was a bit queasy but as he felt a warm big hand on his arm, he just knew that his best friend wouldn’t judge him, never would. So he took one final deep breath and started to talk_ _„I contacted my pr manager about something I knew for a really long time but just my family and a number of close friends know about, I said it was time for me telling the world the truth about me and well…“Jensen rubbed his neck in a nervous gesture „…I wanted to tell you first before everyone else know, because you are important to me and I don’t want you to believe I lied to you these weeks we know each other.“ He took a deep breath, looked up into Jareds gorgeous eyes and just said it „Jared I’m gay.“_ _Jared just smiled softly at him and nodded „ Thank you Jensen, for being this open with me and I hope you know I would have never judged you for who you are and please know that you can talk to me about everything."_

But that was 3 years and one press statement ago, it's hard for Jensen now, being this close to Jared. He had hope, but this hope was now smashed by seeing how close his best friend and their new female co-star were becoming. He made his way towards his kitchen, needing coffee to start feeling like a human being again. He started the coffee machine and sat down at the table waiting for the holy liquid while he scrolled through his phone, as he opened his text massages his heart stopped for a moment. He had to be really really drunk last night, because the last message he’d sent last night was too Jared, it simply stated **„I wish you were mine“**. 

It also showed that Jared hasn’t seen the message yet. Jensen groaned and hoped Jared thought is was for someone else.

That is so pathetic, because he could never ever miss someone else let alone love someone else. He was a lost cause.

**_So have you got the guts?_ **

**_Been wondering if your heart’s still open_ **

**_if so I wanna know what time its shuts_ **

**_Simmer down and pucker up_ **

**_I’m sorry to interrupt it’s just I’m constantly_ **

**_on the cups of trying to kiss you_ **

**_I don’t know if you feel the same as I do_ **

**_But we could be together, if you wanted to_ **

After Jensen drunk half a liter of coffee and jumped under the shower to feel like a human being again, he came back to the kitchen toweling off his short spiky hair, heading to his fridge searching for some food he saw his phone signaling that he had a new message. His stomach was queasy again and all thoughts about food vanished from his mind. He slowly walked towards the counter where he left his phone and took in his hand, tipping in his passcode, ironically Jareds Birthday, he saw that the new message as he anticipated was from Jared himself.

 **„Doesn’t seemed so yesterday night.“** That was all it said. Jensen had to sat down because it confused the hell out of him. 

_Yesterday evening the whole crew went out for some drinks and after 2 hours of watching his best friend and his possibly new girlfriend flirt, he went for some fresh air. He was outside for like 10 minutes after a man came to him and started to flirt with him. He wasn’t bad looking not in the least but he wasn’t 6’5 or had brown shiny hair or startling hazel eyes. But it was nice to get some attention himself and that's why he started to flirt back a bit, some smirks here, some compliment there. It was easy for him because he knew it would never go further than this._

_Nobody could stand a chance against Jared. After half an hour he said goodbye and walked back into the bar and sat down in his usually space next to Jared._

_He hadn’t noticed anything wrong with his best friend at this time, but now in the bright light of day he must say Jared seemed a bit stiff after he returned to their table._

_After 10 more minutes he said goodbye to the crew and went to his own hole in the wall where he drank some heavy shit and wrote this message to Jared._

But was it possible that Jared saw him with the other man last night? If so, the message he did just sent meant surely he was happy for him finding someone himself.

Yea that's it, Jared just wanted him to be happy just like he is with Genevieve. Thats why he decided to just ignore the message and crawled back in his bed for some more sleep.

He woke up late evening to constant knocking on his door, he wondered who it could be. He grabbed his glasses from the night stand and walked to his door while saying

„Coming, coming… jesus.“He opened the door and came face to face with unreadable hazel eyes. „Eh… hey Jared did we plan something for today?“

It wasn’t unusual for him accepting invitation from Jared and then forgetting about them. 

„No Jensen we didn’t have plans, I wanted to know something.But you didn’t answer your phone so I decided to come here myself.“

Jensen rubbed his neck and blushed a bit „Yea sorry I went back to bed this morning not feeling so well“

Jared looked taken aback „So you are alone?“

Jensen looked at him like he was crazy „What do you mean I’m alone? Of course I’m alone who would be here ?“

Jared started to blush what confused Jensen even more but also made it hard to resist just grabbing his face and kissing his pink lips so he looked at Jared and asked

„You wanna come in and explain to me why you thought somebody was here with me?“ Jared just nodded and followed Jensen inside. 

**_Do I wanna know?_ **

**_If this feeling flows both ways_ **

**_(sad to see you go)_ **

**_Was sorta hoping that you’d stay_ **

**_(Baby we both know)_ **

**_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day_ **

**_Crawling back to you_ **

**_Ever thought of calling when you had a few?_ **

**_(calling when you had a few)_ **

**_´Cause I always do (´cause I always do)_ **

**_Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new_ **

**_Now I thought it through_ **

**_Crawling back to you (do I wanna know? )_ **

**_If this feeling flows both ways_ **

**_(Sad to see you go)_ **

**_Was sorta hoping that you’d stay_ **

**_(Baby we both know)_ **

**_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day_ **

They both settled on the couch in Jensen living room, each with a cold beer in hand. After some uncomfortable silent moments Jensen ask „You wanna tell me what's up with you?“

Jared took a swing from his bottle and just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled „Nothing“

Jensen had enough this situation was confusing enough without Jared refusing to answer his questions

„Jared come on please I’m confused as hell and your visit just makes it much more confusing“

Jared ducked his head and mumbled something what Jensen couldn’t quite get 

„What was that?“ he asked. „I said I thought I lost my chance“

That answer wasn’t helping Jensen at all so he groaned and said just that to Jared who looked in Jensen eyes and said

„Looks like I’m gonna explain everything or?“ Jensen just nodded. So Jared took a deep breath

„First of all I’m sorry Jensen and maybe you gonna hate me after I’m done with this so please just listen to me. Jensen yesterday evening I wanted to tell you something but I was to chicken and needed some time and maybe also liquid courage.“ Jared looked a bit sheepish while saying this but continued with his explanation „After two hours or so I felt like I could tell you this important thing but you weren’t by my side so I started to search for you, asking everybody if the had seen you and 20 minutes later Rich came up to me and said he saw you leaving the bar to get some fresh air so I walked outside and just wanted to call out to you but I saw that you were talking to this man, he was up in your personal space and you smiled at him and.. and ….“

He looked stricken and ran his fingers trough his shiny brown locks „… it was hard for me seeing you like that and so I turned around and walked back inside.“

For Jensen his whole world crumbled around him, he closed his eyes tightly and tried to stop the tears from falling, he turned his body away from Jared and pulled up his knees to his chest.

So Jared had a problem with him being gay after all. It was devastating for him knowing that his best friend despited him.

But before his thoughts could spiral much deeper he felt two arms reaching out for him and manhandling him against Jareds strong broad chest.

He struggled against him but after Jared made some soothing shushing noises he gave up and settled against him. His tears started to leak out and he buried his face against the chest. After some moments of soothing noises and back rubbings Jared started in a gently voice

„Jen I know what you must be thinking now but it’s totally different, it wasn’t hard for me seeing you like that because you are gay, no it was hard for me seeing you like that because it was not me with you there. It was not me you were flirting with, it was not me you were smiling at. It hurt seeing you like that because I wanted to be him. So I went back inside and after you came back it was so difficult not just grab you and kissing the living hell out of you. And after you left the bar after 10 minutes I was sure you were going home with this man. "

He took a deep breath and carried on "But the message you wrote me yesterday doesn’t made sense and after you left I drank too much yesterday and answered in the childish way I did this morning. But after you didn’t answer the whole day I had to see for myself that I lost my chance with you.“

All while Jared talked Jensen got calmer but he was still confused so he asked „Jay?“ He felt the vibrations of Jareds „Mmmhhmmm“ against his cheek.

„I still don’t understand why you thought you lost a chance with me. I will always be your best friend and no one could replace you.“

He heard Jared laughing softly before he said „Jensen I know you will always be there for me as a friend like me will be always there for you. But Jen I wanna be more than friends and I wanted that for a long time, but I was a coward and thought I had enough time figuring out how I would tell you this. However after yesterday it was clear I had to take this step now.“

Jared lifted his chin and looked into his eyes while saying „Jensen Ross Ackles I’m in love with you and I wanna be with you every minute of every day.“

Jensen couldn’t believe what he just heard and he wasn’t even aware that his tears started to fall again not until Jared swept them away with his thumb.

„Jen please talk to me. You know it is hard for me seeing you crying“ Jensen had to smile a bit because he knew that, Jared always said that he cried behind the camera while Dean was having a chick flick moment. „That’s better and now please talk to me.“

Jensen looked into these hazel depths and saw only worry and love and he just knew that Jared did love him with all his heart and the only thing he could do was lean in and capture Jared lips with his own. It was everything he dreamed about and more, Jareds lips were so soft he instantly loved the feeling of kissing Jared. As the kiss came to an end Jensen murmured against Jareds lips „I love you too"

Jared stroked his cheek and said „You didn’t know how long I was waiting for this moment“

Jensen began to smile but his brain shot up with something and without thought the words feel out of his mouth „But was is with Genevieve?“

Jared looked puzzled for a moment but then he stared to laugh. Jensen wasn’t sure what was so funny so he started to withdraw himself from Jareds lap but before he could get far Jared tightened his grip around him and pulled him more firmly against his chest

„Jensen do you think I’m in love with her? Was that the reason why you always ran from the conversations so quickly or wouldn’t do things with me while she was with us?“

Jensen was embarrassed off his own behavior so he buried his face again and just nodded against the chest. Jared just laughed and kissed his temple, which was a nice feeling.

„Oh sweetheart how could I love her while my heart did belong to you from the first week we started Supernatural. Jen you had not one single reason to feel jealous. Just love you.“

He ended his statement with another kiss against his temple. Jensen was pleased to hear this so he looked up and ask „Jared Tristan Padalecki you wanna be together with me?“

Jared stood up with him cradled against his chest, he just had enough time to wrap his legs around him before sliding down. „Yes yes yes, I wanna be together with you. I love you so so much.“ Jared started to kiss him again and these kisses were much more heated with tongue and teeth. Jensen ended the kisses after some time and said „You wanna move this to the bedroom?“

Jared just smirked and started down the hallway with a laughing Jensen against his chest

„You know I can walk by my self?“ „Yes I know but carring you is so much more fun." 

**_Too busy being yours to fall_ **

**_(Sad to see you go)_ **

**_Ever thought of calling darling?_ **

**_(Do I wanna know? )_ **

**_Do you want me crawling back to you?_ **

Late this night after they made love to each other Jensen lay with his head on Jareds chest and caressed with his hand his side. He looked up in the loving eyes of his new lover and said

„I’m so clad I drank too much yesterday and wrote you this message.“ Jared bend down and kissed his nose and said „I was yours from the first time you smiled at me Jen" 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :)  
> Thank you for reading this story, I hope you liked it.  
> If though kudos and comments would be nice :)  
> If not, comments would be also nice to know what I could do better.
> 
> Also sorry for all grammatical or spelling mistakes, its not my mother tongue.


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